Diary of Chip Martin (aka the Colonel)
July 27th 1997
I got this stupid ‘diary’ as my mom calls it for Christmas last year but have had to use it for besides for putting it under my uneven chair leg to keep it from tipping. I guess that changed today though. I’ve never been the one to write or express my feelings in any way but maybe this will help me from bottling up all my emotions that have been occurring more lately.
My family’s not perfect, but what family is? For the past few months, I’ve noticed that Mom has been acting different towards Dad. I wasn’t sure why until today.
The first time I had noticed the difference with the way they were acting had happened a little while ago, after Christmas. I had woken up during the night and was thirsty so I went downstairs prepared to get get myself a cup of water when I heard the arguing. It was Mom and Dad. I went downstairs to take a look at what was going on only to be faced with a scary sight. Right as I had reached the last step and peaked around the corner of the stairs, Dad had raised his arm and with full swing slapped Mom in the face. I didn’t know what to do so i just stood there, helpless. I watched Mom break out into sobs, holding her cheek. Dad on the other hand had changed back to his normal self instead of the monster he had just been. His face turned soft and full of guilt. He walked over to Mom slowly and bent down, cupping her face in his hands as he whispered his ‘true’ apologizes and promises to never do that again. By that time I had turned around and slowly crept back up the stairs to my bedroom, completely forgetting about my drink of water. I fell asleep that night thinking that that was just a one time thing and it would never happen again. ‘Dad isn’t like that,’ I kept telling myself ‘Everything will be okay. He loves Mom and me.’ Little did i know that that was only the beginning.
This abuse towards Mom continued over the next few months, becoming for and more frequent. Although it was supposed to be ‘hidden’ from me, I always saw or heard it going on. As soon as I saw it happen a few times i started to realise that this was going to continue until someone stopped it. The only problem is that I’m just a small 8, almost 9, year old. I couldn’t do anything to help Mom. I hate seeing her fake smile everyday knowing Dad hurt her the night before. That’s another thing, Dad always attacks during the night, never during the day and he always comes back late too. I know that he’s changed but I can’t help but hope that my real Dad will come back and continue where he left off. I miss going to watch basketball games with him on TV or playing video games as he watched from behind me helping me along. Although I keep telling myself that there has to be some chance of him coming back us, i know that it will never happen.
Today was the worst of all the abuse. I was in bed after a long day with Mom while Dad was out (as always) when I heard the beginning of it all. It started with the usual yelling but grew quicker than normal. I crept down the stairs, skipping the third from the bottom since it always squeaked when someone steps on it. I peaked around the corner and saw the worst thing I had ever seen. Mom was on the floor, her nose was bleeding as she was being kicked roughly in the side by Dad. Dad seemed different than usual. Usually it was only yelling, a hit across Mom’s face or two and pushing her around. This time he was actually kicking her over and over again and she was crying for him to stop. I looked at his face and his eyes were really red along with his face. His face showed pure anger and almost devilish. My Dad had finally turned into a monster. Everything ended by him shouting in her face, calling her names that I’m not allowed to say and stomping out of the house.
It’s now 12:00pm and I haven’t heard the front door open yet and Mom hasn’t come upstairs to get me like she usually does in the morning. I know she is okay because i can hear her walking around downstairs and the Tv playing her usual show. I don’t want to go downstairs because I’m scared she will know i saw what happened and be upset. I also am scared to see her bruises, cuts and fake smile. Last night was the worst it has ever been and i know i won’t be able to keep my tears in if I see Mom in pain.
I hope Dad stays away from Mom and I. I think if he does then Mom will be happier and I will get to see her real smile again. I’m happy that Dad left so that Mom and I can be happy and not afraid but I miss the old him and with him gone I won’t have any hope of that Dad coming back for me and Mom. With Dad gone now, I guess it’s time for me to grow up and be the man of the house for Mom. I guess this is goodbye to childhood.
Chip Martin (aka the new man of the house)
September 5th, 2002
It’s been around five years since that night and I haven’t seen my Dad since. I guess that’s a good thing though. After he left Mom grew happier but has recently become depressed. She never wants to come out of her room and when she does it’s only for a little while for her morning coffee and packing my lunch, when she goes to work or when she makes supper for us. She has stopped taking me to school so that resulted in me taking three different buses just to get to get there. I’m not sure why she’s depressed but I’ve come up with possible explanations; 1: being that she is lonely and misses having someone around to help her with things and 2: there’s something that she’s not telling me like she’s taking some sort of medicine with these side effects. I haven’t come up with anything else other than those possibilities yet and I hope she overcomes this soon. I hate seeing her like this. I don’t have any other adult in my life to lean on besides her and now thats she’s acting like this, I feel like I’ve been abandoned by everyone and I can’t help but think that i’m not wanted. I’ll never tell anyone this though. This book is the only place where I explain what’s going on in my head and how i’m feeling. Sometimes i’m glad my Mom bought me this book all those years ago because it has helped me with many things. With it I’m able to talk and explain to ‘someone’ what i’m going through or have gone through without getting feedback and having someone else know my secrets. So although i may not like writing in this book because it seems stupid and little girlish, it brings many benefits to me.
Anyway, moving on to today’s events. Today was the day that I started my first year at Culver Creek Preparatory School. Before arriving, I made a deal with myself to start over and transform myself into the person I want to be instead of who I am. I’m going to a new school where I won’t only attend during the day but will also be sleeping at night. I’ll basically be spending the next 4 years here living on my own with the new friends I will hopefully make. I’ve decided to change my attitude, my appearance and I’ve also decided to ditch writing in this dumb book. I don’t want to get caught by my roommate or other friends while I’m writing in this book! They will probably take it away, read all my secrets of my past and then judge me on it/ call me names. They will make fun of me! I’m not going to be the school’s nerd again like at my old school. I’ll do whatever it takes to end that title even if that means doing bad things and getting into trouble. If I were to get into trouble, I could prove to everyone that I’m not just some goodie goodie, that I’m actually willing to have fun even if it’s against the rules,. Although I’m going to transform myself, I will not treat people poorly unless I have a good reason. I have never been the one to be rude to others and I have been extremely against it ever since the whole thing between Mom and Dad. Seeing that as just a young child while thinking before that your parents were the nicest people on Earth and would never hurt anyone only to be proven wrong, can really change your perspective on things. Now because of that I have trust issues. Ever since then I have met new people but have never been able to open up to them not because I didn’t want to, but because in the back of my mind I had always thought that they would end up stabbing me in the back later on.
When Mom and I first drove up to the front gates, I will admit, I was a bit nervous. I mean who wouldn’t be? I’m starting at a new school, I’m completely transforming myself, and I also don’t know anyone or my way around at all. I know that i will eventually find my way around but it’s still a thing that has me worried.
After putting all my stuff into my new dorm, my mom left wishing me the best of luck and that she will miss me and try to visit soon. I’m not sure how much of that I believe though. How will she miss me if she already acts like I’m not even there? I bet she will just go back to laying in her bed in her room all day. The thing I’m worried about is that she actually will do that. I’m worried she will stay in there all day and forget to eat, stay hydrated or even forget about going to work. She needs to get better soon and I’m just hoping that with me gone, she doesn’t get worse. I’m sounding extremely weak and babyish right now so I better shut up.
So moving on… After getting all my stuff put away, I went to the assembly that was recommended for the new students to attend. I sat down on one of the long benches and waited as the room began to fill up. We were about 15 minutes through the assembly when a girl with pale skin and reddish-brown hair flew into the room. She came at a halt at the end of the bench I was sitting on and sat down beside me. About 5 minutes later, I felt her move closer so I looked over only to be met with her emerald green eyes. She smiled and introduced herself as Alaska Young to which I replied back as Chip Martin. She didn’t seem to like my name so instead she started calling me the Colonel. At first I wasn’t too sure about the name but it’s growing on me and I’m actually starting to like it. Just like Alaska. At first I was a bit unsure about her, she seemed a bit rude, secretive and her mood was constantly switching while we hung out after the assembly. After a while though, I began to get use to it and it didn’t bother me as much. I started to see that she wasn’t intentionally being rude and that she was actually very interesting even though she still seemed to be hiding things from me. I brushed it off though because we had just met and I wasn’t prepared to tell her all my secrets either. I’m not sure I will ever tell anyone about them but I have a feeling that if I do, Alaska will be the one.
Chip Martin (aka the Colonel)
Saturday September 6th 2003
Today is my third day of my third year at Culver Creek. I met this young, and scrawny boy on Friday. His name is Miles, but I prefer calling him Pudge. I just like the irony in the name to his appearance. I’m not trying to make fun of the kid in a rude way, I just do it in a joking matter. I’ve only known this kid for 2 days now but he reminds me a bit of myself when I was younger and that might be the reason why I acted they way I did today when a prank was pulled on him.
I woke up this morning to ‘Pudge’ shaking my shoulders roughly and then walking into the bathroom drenched in water. At first I was angry, i mean who wakes someone up like that and so early. I need my sleep! When Pudge finally came out of the bathroom I had to try to hold in my laughter. He had gotten thrown into the lake this morning/afternoon and he was clearly mad. It happens to everyone though. All we do is throw them in the lake, they swim out and walk back home. There’s nothing really to it and it’s supposed to be a joke. It even happened to me my first year here and I had no problem with it besides being woken up early by being soaked with water. other than that I had no problem with the prank and just brushed it off as a ‘welcome to the school/ group’ kind of thing. Pudge should do the same, I mean it was just a harmless prank.
What he told me next was what got my blood boiling. The guys who had been in charge of this prank had duct-taped the poor kid so when they threw him in the lake, he wasn’t able to swim out. Who does that? I know that it was supposed to be a joke and everything but that was taking it too far. To this day I don’t like people physically or emotionally harming anyone like my Dad did to my Mom. This also might have been a reason as to why I practically went on a rampage after hearing Pudge’s story. I know I’m not the nicest to him and I know he doesn’t really like me either but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to laugh at him and not do anything about this situation that shouldn’t have happened. I’m going to make sure that this NEVER happens again to anyone. Kevin and his stupid followers could have gotten into trouble from doing that….. wait he could have gotten into trouble, maybe he still can whether they’re in trouble with the Eagle or me. Either way it will teach them a lesson to not mess with my friends in a way that can harm their life and it also gives me an excuse to completely humiliate them in front of everyone. I’ll have to talk to Alaska about this prank but I’m pretty sure she’ll be happy to get involved and hopefully she can help with the ideas and the planning. This is going to be good.
Chip Martin (the Colonel)
When the Eagle informed Pudge and I about her passing I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t break down crying in front of Pudge or the other students. I have a reputation to sustain even when hearing horrible news like this. Writing this now, I still can’t seem to comprehend the fact that she’s gone and that I will never see nor hear her voice again.
I can’t help but feel a sort of anger towards her though. How could she just leave me like that? How could she leave all her other friends and her boyfriend? Most importantly, how could she just leave Pudge like that? I mean they make out one second and Pudge feels like he has a chance and then the next second she’s dead leaving Pudge to suffer. How could she have been so inconsiderate of the people who care or cared about her? I hate how she left us. Why couldn’t it have been someone else? This isn’t fair to anyone! I know that I shouldn’t be mad at her, I mean she was in a car crash and it might have been the other cars fault and she could be innocent, but then how could she have been so stupid as to drive late at night and after she was drinking?! There must have been some other reason or reasons as to what made her get into that car last night after she had been drinking with Pudge and I. Maybe she needed to clear her head after that kiss/make out session with Pudge. Maybe she actually had feelings for him and never really knew it because she was too caught up in her boyfriend and subconsciously trying to make Pudge jealous. Any possible reason for her actions could be that Jake found out about Alaska cheating on him and the two of them got into a fight and therefore she needed to get away for a little while to breathe. Whatever the reason was, I just hope that in the end Alaska is happy where she is and didn’t die a painful death. No one deserves that.
RIP Alaska.
Chip Martin (the Colonel)
Friday June 27 2004
It’s been over a year since Alaska’s passing. Miles and I have tried to figure out exactly what happened that night but have come up with no positive conclusion. Over the past few months, we have decided to just let it go. We still think of Alaska from time to time and talk about all the memories we’ve had (most including her). Pudge has moved on and is taking it slow with Lara again. I’m not with Sara or anyone else for that matter but I’m happy to be single and just enjoying life.
We are all graduating tomorrow and I can’t wait to start my new life even if I’m still not positive what I want to do yet. I might get into something that has to do with a help line or possibly becoming a counselor of some sort. I’ve been through a lot in my life and I think that with all my knowledge of these different situations in a teens life, that I could really help other teens with their problems. the only problem with these types of jobs is that I have to come off as nice and interested in helping to solve their problems when in reality I’m not good with showing this kind of attitude. I might need to work on that for the future.
I’m happy to be leaving the school finally, although I will miss all the memories I’ve made here. I met Alaska, Pudge and some of my other friends here, I’ve become a different person as in I have matured more from when I first got here and only had just begun transforming myself. I’m not going to say that I’m completely happy with who I have become, but I’m happy that I got through my time at this school without being the targeted nerd like I was at the old school I attended when I was younger. I probably could have gone through everything without having to drink all that alcohol and smoking all those cigarettes but they did really help during tough situations. I know I shouldn’t rely on those things when things get tough but what other choice did I have if I wanted to keep my reputation up? I remember the first time I ever tried drinking and smoking. I was with Alaska in her dorm room when she offered me a thin, white role of poison wrapped in paper also known as a cigarette. At first I was bit hesitant. I mean I wanted a different image, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to take it this far, I also didn’t want Alaska to look down upon me for not trying it and telling everyone else that I was too chicken to do it. That’s when I sucked it up and took the thin role from her fingers and lit it up. I inhaled too deeply and ended up choking (close to how Pudge did his obvious first time). Alaska ended up laughing at me and I joined in acting like it was just a joke and shrugging it off. I continued inhaling and releasing the toxic smoke until the cigarette was finished. I honestly didn’t mind it. It wasn’t as bad as I had originally thought it would be. Later that day, Alaska and I were hanging out with a group of our “friends” in their dorm room when someone pulled out a case of all different types of what looked to be hard liquor. All I could think about was how they could have sneaked that past all the teachers and the Eagle himself. That guy is like a bloodhound! He can sniff out basically anything that anyone’s planning or bringing into the school grounds in seconds. Everyone started grabbing and passing around all the different bottles, some taking large swigs from the bottles and others filling up red solo cups and downing the alcohol that way. When one of the bottles finally got to me, I was once again hesitant to try it. I looked up and saw that everyone had focused their attention on me. I looked towards Alaska and the thoughts of what had happened earlier clouded my mind and I took a huge swig from the dark brown bottle. I swallowed the awful tasting liquid and reached for another sip. It tasted bad but it was also such a rush that I was doing something I didn’t think i would ever being doing so soon that it the taste was tolerable. From that day on I have been drinking and smoking with no problem.
So although I have a lot of memories at this school, I think that leaving will be good so that I can make new ones somewhere else whether it’s at college or living in my trailer or at my workplace. Either way I will never forget my memories here and all that I’ve learned (not only in my classes but from my friends as well). This is the new Chip Martin moving on.
Chip Martin (still and always will be the Colonel)
Tuesday May 3 2024
It’s been awhile since I’ve written in this journal. I’m now 38, married to the lovely Marie Lawson who I met when I first started at Calhoun Community College in Decatur, Alabama. We had many of the same classes together and became friends, which grew into our relationship that led to me proposing a few years later after college. We have two kids, Ryan and Alaska Martin. Ryan is 13 going on 14 whereas my little girl is only 6. Yes, we named her after Alaska in hopes that she would be as fearless, outgoing, spontaneous and a go-with-the-flow type of girl that Alaska was.
I still miss Alaska from time to time but with Marie around and the kids, I’m preoccupied and don’t have much time to think much about that far in the past and my mourning. I’m still in touch with Miles or should I say ‘Pudge’. We actually live in the same neighbourhood and our kids go to the same school. Miles ended up marrying Lara, but we all knew that was going to happen. They have 3 kids with their oldest being two or three grades higher than Ryan. This was due to Lara getting pregnant almost right out of highschool. Their second oldest is in the grade below Ryan and their youngest is in Alaska’s grade. The kids are all friends with each other and see each other often outside of school at one of mine or Miles’ houses.
Over the years, Miles and I have become as close as friends can be. After Alaska’s death, we both had something in common and I guess that’s what brought us closer. I mean it’s not good that her death is what brought us closer but to me it’s like this was all planned out from day one. I have never had a true friend like Miles, even Alaska wasn’t as close as Miles is to me, so maybe since all these things that I have been through have been for a reason. If my father hadn’t of done all that stuff to my mother and left, then I wouldn’t have wanted to change myself so bad into a different person and therefore wouldn’t have talked to Alaska or would have but then dropped her once I realised what kind of person she was or she could have dropped me because I was a nerd who was too chicken to do anything.. Also if Alaska wouldn’t have been in that car accident and died, than Miles and I wouldn’t have had something so common between us that brought us together. I guess fate has a funny way of helping people and working it’s magic. It just sucks that fate had to make someone pass in order to help me and everyone else who benefitted from all that has happened.
Mr. Chip Martin (the old Colonel)
I got this stupid ‘diary’ as my mom calls it for Christmas last year but have had to use it for besides for putting it under my uneven chair leg to keep it from tipping. I guess that changed today though. I’ve never been the one to write or express my feelings in any way but maybe this will help me from bottling up all my emotions that have been occurring more lately.
My family’s not perfect, but what family is? For the past few months, I’ve noticed that Mom has been acting different towards Dad. I wasn’t sure why until today.
The first time I had noticed the difference with the way they were acting had happened a little while ago, after Christmas. I had woken up during the night and was thirsty so I went downstairs prepared to get get myself a cup of water when I heard the arguing. It was Mom and Dad. I went downstairs to take a look at what was going on only to be faced with a scary sight. Right as I had reached the last step and peaked around the corner of the stairs, Dad had raised his arm and with full swing slapped Mom in the face. I didn’t know what to do so i just stood there, helpless. I watched Mom break out into sobs, holding her cheek. Dad on the other hand had changed back to his normal self instead of the monster he had just been. His face turned soft and full of guilt. He walked over to Mom slowly and bent down, cupping her face in his hands as he whispered his ‘true’ apologizes and promises to never do that again. By that time I had turned around and slowly crept back up the stairs to my bedroom, completely forgetting about my drink of water. I fell asleep that night thinking that that was just a one time thing and it would never happen again. ‘Dad isn’t like that,’ I kept telling myself ‘Everything will be okay. He loves Mom and me.’ Little did i know that that was only the beginning.
This abuse towards Mom continued over the next few months, becoming for and more frequent. Although it was supposed to be ‘hidden’ from me, I always saw or heard it going on. As soon as I saw it happen a few times i started to realise that this was going to continue until someone stopped it. The only problem is that I’m just a small 8, almost 9, year old. I couldn’t do anything to help Mom. I hate seeing her fake smile everyday knowing Dad hurt her the night before. That’s another thing, Dad always attacks during the night, never during the day and he always comes back late too. I know that he’s changed but I can’t help but hope that my real Dad will come back and continue where he left off. I miss going to watch basketball games with him on TV or playing video games as he watched from behind me helping me along. Although I keep telling myself that there has to be some chance of him coming back us, i know that it will never happen.
Today was the worst of all the abuse. I was in bed after a long day with Mom while Dad was out (as always) when I heard the beginning of it all. It started with the usual yelling but grew quicker than normal. I crept down the stairs, skipping the third from the bottom since it always squeaked when someone steps on it. I peaked around the corner and saw the worst thing I had ever seen. Mom was on the floor, her nose was bleeding as she was being kicked roughly in the side by Dad. Dad seemed different than usual. Usually it was only yelling, a hit across Mom’s face or two and pushing her around. This time he was actually kicking her over and over again and she was crying for him to stop. I looked at his face and his eyes were really red along with his face. His face showed pure anger and almost devilish. My Dad had finally turned into a monster. Everything ended by him shouting in her face, calling her names that I’m not allowed to say and stomping out of the house.
It’s now 12:00pm and I haven’t heard the front door open yet and Mom hasn’t come upstairs to get me like she usually does in the morning. I know she is okay because i can hear her walking around downstairs and the Tv playing her usual show. I don’t want to go downstairs because I’m scared she will know i saw what happened and be upset. I also am scared to see her bruises, cuts and fake smile. Last night was the worst it has ever been and i know i won’t be able to keep my tears in if I see Mom in pain.
I hope Dad stays away from Mom and I. I think if he does then Mom will be happier and I will get to see her real smile again. I’m happy that Dad left so that Mom and I can be happy and not afraid but I miss the old him and with him gone I won’t have any hope of that Dad coming back for me and Mom. With Dad gone now, I guess it’s time for me to grow up and be the man of the house for Mom. I guess this is goodbye to childhood.
Chip Martin (aka the new man of the house)
September 5th, 2002
It’s been around five years since that night and I haven’t seen my Dad since. I guess that’s a good thing though. After he left Mom grew happier but has recently become depressed. She never wants to come out of her room and when she does it’s only for a little while for her morning coffee and packing my lunch, when she goes to work or when she makes supper for us. She has stopped taking me to school so that resulted in me taking three different buses just to get to get there. I’m not sure why she’s depressed but I’ve come up with possible explanations; 1: being that she is lonely and misses having someone around to help her with things and 2: there’s something that she’s not telling me like she’s taking some sort of medicine with these side effects. I haven’t come up with anything else other than those possibilities yet and I hope she overcomes this soon. I hate seeing her like this. I don’t have any other adult in my life to lean on besides her and now thats she’s acting like this, I feel like I’ve been abandoned by everyone and I can’t help but think that i’m not wanted. I’ll never tell anyone this though. This book is the only place where I explain what’s going on in my head and how i’m feeling. Sometimes i’m glad my Mom bought me this book all those years ago because it has helped me with many things. With it I’m able to talk and explain to ‘someone’ what i’m going through or have gone through without getting feedback and having someone else know my secrets. So although i may not like writing in this book because it seems stupid and little girlish, it brings many benefits to me.
Anyway, moving on to today’s events. Today was the day that I started my first year at Culver Creek Preparatory School. Before arriving, I made a deal with myself to start over and transform myself into the person I want to be instead of who I am. I’m going to a new school where I won’t only attend during the day but will also be sleeping at night. I’ll basically be spending the next 4 years here living on my own with the new friends I will hopefully make. I’ve decided to change my attitude, my appearance and I’ve also decided to ditch writing in this dumb book. I don’t want to get caught by my roommate or other friends while I’m writing in this book! They will probably take it away, read all my secrets of my past and then judge me on it/ call me names. They will make fun of me! I’m not going to be the school’s nerd again like at my old school. I’ll do whatever it takes to end that title even if that means doing bad things and getting into trouble. If I were to get into trouble, I could prove to everyone that I’m not just some goodie goodie, that I’m actually willing to have fun even if it’s against the rules,. Although I’m going to transform myself, I will not treat people poorly unless I have a good reason. I have never been the one to be rude to others and I have been extremely against it ever since the whole thing between Mom and Dad. Seeing that as just a young child while thinking before that your parents were the nicest people on Earth and would never hurt anyone only to be proven wrong, can really change your perspective on things. Now because of that I have trust issues. Ever since then I have met new people but have never been able to open up to them not because I didn’t want to, but because in the back of my mind I had always thought that they would end up stabbing me in the back later on.
When Mom and I first drove up to the front gates, I will admit, I was a bit nervous. I mean who wouldn’t be? I’m starting at a new school, I’m completely transforming myself, and I also don’t know anyone or my way around at all. I know that i will eventually find my way around but it’s still a thing that has me worried.
After putting all my stuff into my new dorm, my mom left wishing me the best of luck and that she will miss me and try to visit soon. I’m not sure how much of that I believe though. How will she miss me if she already acts like I’m not even there? I bet she will just go back to laying in her bed in her room all day. The thing I’m worried about is that she actually will do that. I’m worried she will stay in there all day and forget to eat, stay hydrated or even forget about going to work. She needs to get better soon and I’m just hoping that with me gone, she doesn’t get worse. I’m sounding extremely weak and babyish right now so I better shut up.
So moving on… After getting all my stuff put away, I went to the assembly that was recommended for the new students to attend. I sat down on one of the long benches and waited as the room began to fill up. We were about 15 minutes through the assembly when a girl with pale skin and reddish-brown hair flew into the room. She came at a halt at the end of the bench I was sitting on and sat down beside me. About 5 minutes later, I felt her move closer so I looked over only to be met with her emerald green eyes. She smiled and introduced herself as Alaska Young to which I replied back as Chip Martin. She didn’t seem to like my name so instead she started calling me the Colonel. At first I wasn’t too sure about the name but it’s growing on me and I’m actually starting to like it. Just like Alaska. At first I was a bit unsure about her, she seemed a bit rude, secretive and her mood was constantly switching while we hung out after the assembly. After a while though, I began to get use to it and it didn’t bother me as much. I started to see that she wasn’t intentionally being rude and that she was actually very interesting even though she still seemed to be hiding things from me. I brushed it off though because we had just met and I wasn’t prepared to tell her all my secrets either. I’m not sure I will ever tell anyone about them but I have a feeling that if I do, Alaska will be the one.
Chip Martin (aka the Colonel)
Saturday September 6th 2003
Today is my third day of my third year at Culver Creek. I met this young, and scrawny boy on Friday. His name is Miles, but I prefer calling him Pudge. I just like the irony in the name to his appearance. I’m not trying to make fun of the kid in a rude way, I just do it in a joking matter. I’ve only known this kid for 2 days now but he reminds me a bit of myself when I was younger and that might be the reason why I acted they way I did today when a prank was pulled on him.
I woke up this morning to ‘Pudge’ shaking my shoulders roughly and then walking into the bathroom drenched in water. At first I was angry, i mean who wakes someone up like that and so early. I need my sleep! When Pudge finally came out of the bathroom I had to try to hold in my laughter. He had gotten thrown into the lake this morning/afternoon and he was clearly mad. It happens to everyone though. All we do is throw them in the lake, they swim out and walk back home. There’s nothing really to it and it’s supposed to be a joke. It even happened to me my first year here and I had no problem with it besides being woken up early by being soaked with water. other than that I had no problem with the prank and just brushed it off as a ‘welcome to the school/ group’ kind of thing. Pudge should do the same, I mean it was just a harmless prank.
What he told me next was what got my blood boiling. The guys who had been in charge of this prank had duct-taped the poor kid so when they threw him in the lake, he wasn’t able to swim out. Who does that? I know that it was supposed to be a joke and everything but that was taking it too far. To this day I don’t like people physically or emotionally harming anyone like my Dad did to my Mom. This also might have been a reason as to why I practically went on a rampage after hearing Pudge’s story. I know I’m not the nicest to him and I know he doesn’t really like me either but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to laugh at him and not do anything about this situation that shouldn’t have happened. I’m going to make sure that this NEVER happens again to anyone. Kevin and his stupid followers could have gotten into trouble from doing that….. wait he could have gotten into trouble, maybe he still can whether they’re in trouble with the Eagle or me. Either way it will teach them a lesson to not mess with my friends in a way that can harm their life and it also gives me an excuse to completely humiliate them in front of everyone. I’ll have to talk to Alaska about this prank but I’m pretty sure she’ll be happy to get involved and hopefully she can help with the ideas and the planning. This is going to be good.
Chip Martin (the Colonel)
- March 5 2003
When the Eagle informed Pudge and I about her passing I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t break down crying in front of Pudge or the other students. I have a reputation to sustain even when hearing horrible news like this. Writing this now, I still can’t seem to comprehend the fact that she’s gone and that I will never see nor hear her voice again.
I can’t help but feel a sort of anger towards her though. How could she just leave me like that? How could she leave all her other friends and her boyfriend? Most importantly, how could she just leave Pudge like that? I mean they make out one second and Pudge feels like he has a chance and then the next second she’s dead leaving Pudge to suffer. How could she have been so inconsiderate of the people who care or cared about her? I hate how she left us. Why couldn’t it have been someone else? This isn’t fair to anyone! I know that I shouldn’t be mad at her, I mean she was in a car crash and it might have been the other cars fault and she could be innocent, but then how could she have been so stupid as to drive late at night and after she was drinking?! There must have been some other reason or reasons as to what made her get into that car last night after she had been drinking with Pudge and I. Maybe she needed to clear her head after that kiss/make out session with Pudge. Maybe she actually had feelings for him and never really knew it because she was too caught up in her boyfriend and subconsciously trying to make Pudge jealous. Any possible reason for her actions could be that Jake found out about Alaska cheating on him and the two of them got into a fight and therefore she needed to get away for a little while to breathe. Whatever the reason was, I just hope that in the end Alaska is happy where she is and didn’t die a painful death. No one deserves that.
RIP Alaska.
Chip Martin (the Colonel)
Friday June 27 2004
It’s been over a year since Alaska’s passing. Miles and I have tried to figure out exactly what happened that night but have come up with no positive conclusion. Over the past few months, we have decided to just let it go. We still think of Alaska from time to time and talk about all the memories we’ve had (most including her). Pudge has moved on and is taking it slow with Lara again. I’m not with Sara or anyone else for that matter but I’m happy to be single and just enjoying life.
We are all graduating tomorrow and I can’t wait to start my new life even if I’m still not positive what I want to do yet. I might get into something that has to do with a help line or possibly becoming a counselor of some sort. I’ve been through a lot in my life and I think that with all my knowledge of these different situations in a teens life, that I could really help other teens with their problems. the only problem with these types of jobs is that I have to come off as nice and interested in helping to solve their problems when in reality I’m not good with showing this kind of attitude. I might need to work on that for the future.
I’m happy to be leaving the school finally, although I will miss all the memories I’ve made here. I met Alaska, Pudge and some of my other friends here, I’ve become a different person as in I have matured more from when I first got here and only had just begun transforming myself. I’m not going to say that I’m completely happy with who I have become, but I’m happy that I got through my time at this school without being the targeted nerd like I was at the old school I attended when I was younger. I probably could have gone through everything without having to drink all that alcohol and smoking all those cigarettes but they did really help during tough situations. I know I shouldn’t rely on those things when things get tough but what other choice did I have if I wanted to keep my reputation up? I remember the first time I ever tried drinking and smoking. I was with Alaska in her dorm room when she offered me a thin, white role of poison wrapped in paper also known as a cigarette. At first I was bit hesitant. I mean I wanted a different image, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to take it this far, I also didn’t want Alaska to look down upon me for not trying it and telling everyone else that I was too chicken to do it. That’s when I sucked it up and took the thin role from her fingers and lit it up. I inhaled too deeply and ended up choking (close to how Pudge did his obvious first time). Alaska ended up laughing at me and I joined in acting like it was just a joke and shrugging it off. I continued inhaling and releasing the toxic smoke until the cigarette was finished. I honestly didn’t mind it. It wasn’t as bad as I had originally thought it would be. Later that day, Alaska and I were hanging out with a group of our “friends” in their dorm room when someone pulled out a case of all different types of what looked to be hard liquor. All I could think about was how they could have sneaked that past all the teachers and the Eagle himself. That guy is like a bloodhound! He can sniff out basically anything that anyone’s planning or bringing into the school grounds in seconds. Everyone started grabbing and passing around all the different bottles, some taking large swigs from the bottles and others filling up red solo cups and downing the alcohol that way. When one of the bottles finally got to me, I was once again hesitant to try it. I looked up and saw that everyone had focused their attention on me. I looked towards Alaska and the thoughts of what had happened earlier clouded my mind and I took a huge swig from the dark brown bottle. I swallowed the awful tasting liquid and reached for another sip. It tasted bad but it was also such a rush that I was doing something I didn’t think i would ever being doing so soon that it the taste was tolerable. From that day on I have been drinking and smoking with no problem.
So although I have a lot of memories at this school, I think that leaving will be good so that I can make new ones somewhere else whether it’s at college or living in my trailer or at my workplace. Either way I will never forget my memories here and all that I’ve learned (not only in my classes but from my friends as well). This is the new Chip Martin moving on.
Chip Martin (still and always will be the Colonel)
Tuesday May 3 2024
It’s been awhile since I’ve written in this journal. I’m now 38, married to the lovely Marie Lawson who I met when I first started at Calhoun Community College in Decatur, Alabama. We had many of the same classes together and became friends, which grew into our relationship that led to me proposing a few years later after college. We have two kids, Ryan and Alaska Martin. Ryan is 13 going on 14 whereas my little girl is only 6. Yes, we named her after Alaska in hopes that she would be as fearless, outgoing, spontaneous and a go-with-the-flow type of girl that Alaska was.
I still miss Alaska from time to time but with Marie around and the kids, I’m preoccupied and don’t have much time to think much about that far in the past and my mourning. I’m still in touch with Miles or should I say ‘Pudge’. We actually live in the same neighbourhood and our kids go to the same school. Miles ended up marrying Lara, but we all knew that was going to happen. They have 3 kids with their oldest being two or three grades higher than Ryan. This was due to Lara getting pregnant almost right out of highschool. Their second oldest is in the grade below Ryan and their youngest is in Alaska’s grade. The kids are all friends with each other and see each other often outside of school at one of mine or Miles’ houses.
Over the years, Miles and I have become as close as friends can be. After Alaska’s death, we both had something in common and I guess that’s what brought us closer. I mean it’s not good that her death is what brought us closer but to me it’s like this was all planned out from day one. I have never had a true friend like Miles, even Alaska wasn’t as close as Miles is to me, so maybe since all these things that I have been through have been for a reason. If my father hadn’t of done all that stuff to my mother and left, then I wouldn’t have wanted to change myself so bad into a different person and therefore wouldn’t have talked to Alaska or would have but then dropped her once I realised what kind of person she was or she could have dropped me because I was a nerd who was too chicken to do anything.. Also if Alaska wouldn’t have been in that car accident and died, than Miles and I wouldn’t have had something so common between us that brought us together. I guess fate has a funny way of helping people and working it’s magic. It just sucks that fate had to make someone pass in order to help me and everyone else who benefitted from all that has happened.
Mr. Chip Martin (the old Colonel)
On Line Book Club Organizer
Novel Name: Student Name: Kaitlyn Lopes
Chapter
Plot (Events/ Timeline)
Setting
Character
Theme
136 days before
Before Miles leaves for Culver Creek Preparatory school, his parents decide to throw a going away party for him and invite his “friends” from school. When the party ends, only two people that go to Miles’ school ended up showing up.
Miles’ house in Florida.
Miles Halter
Miles’ parents (Mr. and Mrs. Halter)
Marie Lawson
Will (Marie’s boyfriend)
By Miles not having many people show up for his going away party, it just goes to show that he wasn’t a very social person at his school and so he didn’t have many or any real friends.
128 days before
When Miles finally gets to his new school and his parents leave, Miles meets his roommate Chip Martin (aka the Colonel) for the first time.
Room 43 (dorm room) at Culver Creek Preparatory School in Birmingham, Alabama
Miles Halter
Chip Martin (the Colonel)
When Miles meets Chip, this is the starting point of their friendship that will continue to grow during their year at Culver Creek.
128 days before
After Miles and Chip meet, they go to Chip’s friends room to buy some cigarettes and that is where Miles meets Alaska for the first time and becomes infatuated with her.
Room 48 (5 doors down from Miles’ and Chip’s room) at Culver Creek in Birmingham Alabama
Miles Halter
Chip Martin (the Colonel)
Alaska Young
This is the beginning of Miles’ infatuation with Alaska and the beginning of their friendship that will also grow to be stronger over their year.
128 days before
After Alaska leaves to go find her friend Takumi, Chip and Miles go down to the edge of the lake at Culver Creek and Chip offers a cigarette to Miles. Miles had never smoked a cigarette but decides that he wants to and ends up choking and wheezing on the intoxicating smoke.
At the edge of the lake at Culver Creek.
Miles
Chip (the colonel)
This is the start of Miles maturing and becoming the person he wants to be. It also begins his journey towards the Great Perhaps.
127 days before
After Miles has his first cigarette with the Colonel, they both head down to the cafeteria where they meet up with Alaska and her friend Takumi. This is when Miles and Takumi first meet.
Cafeteria at Culver Creek
Miles
Chip (the Colonel)
Takumi
When Miles and Takumi meet in the cafeteria, it begins their friendship over the course of the school year. It also shows how quickly they bond together.
127 days before
As a prank, Miles gets duct taped and thrown into the nearby lake by Kevin and his friends. It was supposed to be a harmless joke/prank but by them duct taping Miles he was having a hard time get out of the lake and could have drowned. When Miles gets back to his dorm and Chip finds out about what happened, Chip gets furious and wants to go talk to them.
Room 43 (Miles’ dorm room) and outside at the lake on Culver Creek’s grounds
Miles
Kevin and his friends
Chip (the Colonel)
This prank brings Miles into the world of pranks at Culver Creek. It also presents the feud between Chip and Kevin and their prank battles. When Chip gets angry at the fact that they taped Miles before throwing him in the lake, it shows how Miles’ and Chip’s friendship has already gotten stronger because of how the Colonel got a bit defensive over Miles almost drowning.
101 days before
In class, Alaska invites Miles to come with her and a few of the students in their Pre Calculus class to come to McDonalds with them. On the ride there, Miles and Lara meet due to there not being enough seats in the small car and Lara having to sit on his lap for the ride there.
In Alaska’s car (Blue Citrus)
McDonald’s
Miles
Lara
Alaska
Kids from their Pre Calculus class
This is when Miles begins developing feelings for Lara. This also begins the start of their friendship.
89 days before
Miles gets invited to go on a triple and a half date with Alaska, her boyfriend Jake, the Colonel and his girlfriend Sara, Lara (as Miles’ date) and Takumi as the half.During this time Lara and Miles get a bit closer and all the friends start to bond more.
In the bleachers at Culver Creek (they watched the game)
Miles
Lara
Chip (the Colonel)
Sara (the Colonel’s girlfriend)
Alaska
Jake (Alaska’s boyfriend)
Takumi
The friends get to bond more over the duration of the date . Lara and Miles get to hang out more and become closer/ their feelings for each other grow.
2 days before
During Barn Night, the group of friends camp out under the stars and decide to play Best Day/ Worst Day. While playing, everyone learns new things about each other but most importantly, they learn a bit about Alaska’s past with her mom.
At the barn, around the campfire
Miles
Lara
Alaska
Chip
Takumi
This game helps to bring Alaska’s past into the light and helps further into the story for when she passes and they are looking for answers as to why it happened.
2 days before
After the friends play Best Day/ Worst Day, they all begin to settle down and this is where Miles and Lara start dating and become even closer to each other.
Around the campfire
Miles
Lara
Chip
Takumi
Alaska
Miles and Lara get together while in front of everyone including Alaska and her boyfriend Jake. Since Jake was there with Alaska it probably made Miles jealous and therefore made him act faster on making Lara his girlfriend then he would have if Jake and Alaska weren’t there.
the last day
The night after Barn Night, Miles, Chip and Alaska all meet up in Alaska’s dorm and play Truth or Dare as they drink until they are drunk. During the game, Alaska dares Miles to kiss her. This is where the two share their first and only kiss.
Room 48 (Alaska’s dorm room)
Alaska
Miles
Chip
When Alaska dares Miles to kiss her, I think this was her way of showing that she might have been jealous that Miles and Lara were together. It also shows that Alaska probably developed feelings for Miles while trying to set him up with Lara and just didn’t want to admit it.
the day after
At the assembly the next day, Chip and Miles beg for the Eagle not to start because Alaska wasn’t there yet. The Eagle explains to them that Alaska won’t be joining them and that she had passed last night. The two can’t believe what they are hearing as the Eagle asks them to clean out Alaska’s room of any things that are supposed to be there (alcohol, cigarettes) before Alaska’s Aunt shows up to clean the rest of her stuff.
The assembly
Chip
Miles
The Eagle
Them finding out about Alaska’s death and how it feels to grieve.
27 days after
Miles and Chip decide to steal the breathalyzer from the Eagle’s house so that they can test out whether Alaska got into the car accident due to her not being able to function properly because she was too drunk. After they got the breathalyzer, the Colonel drank a lot of alcohol in order to test how drunk she would have had to been to not be able to drive properly.
The front of the Eagle’s house and in Miles’ and the Colonel’s dorm room at Culver Creek.
Chip
Miles
The Eagle
This was a way for the two of them to let go and finally try to get the questions they had answered.
102 days after
Chip and Miles plan a huge prank in memory of Alaska and perform it in front of everyone at the assembly.
Culver Creek assembly room
Chip
Miles
I think the big prank was a way of them to let go a bit from grieving and finishes what Alaska didn’t get to.
136 days after
When Miles got home from his final Pre Calculus test, he walked into his dorm room only to find a letter on the floor by the door. He picked it up and realised it was from Takumi. Takumi had written the letter to explain how he heard and tried to talk to Alaska the night of her death before she got into the car and left. He also explained how he had left to go back to Japan early.
On the floor of Miles’ and Chip’s dorm room
Miles
It brings a new perspective to the night of Alaska’s death. It also gives so unanswered questions that Chip and Miles have about that night.
136 days after
After MIles finds Takumi’s letter, he sits down at his computer and decides to write his final for the “Old Man” (his religions teach, Mr. Hyde). As he was writing, he included Alaska’s theory of the labyrinth and how him finding the “Great Perhaps” would be soon after he found his way out of the labyrinth.
In Miles’ and Chip’s dorm room (room 43) at the computer.
Miles
Miles’ final essay explains how much Alaska has taught Miles during the time that they have known each other. It also brings Miles a bit of a break from his relief and helps him move on from the death of his crush, friend and life teacher.
Chapter
Plot (Events/ Timeline)
Setting
Character
Theme
136 days before
Before Miles leaves for Culver Creek Preparatory school, his parents decide to throw a going away party for him and invite his “friends” from school. When the party ends, only two people that go to Miles’ school ended up showing up.
Miles’ house in Florida.
Miles Halter
Miles’ parents (Mr. and Mrs. Halter)
Marie Lawson
Will (Marie’s boyfriend)
By Miles not having many people show up for his going away party, it just goes to show that he wasn’t a very social person at his school and so he didn’t have many or any real friends.
128 days before
When Miles finally gets to his new school and his parents leave, Miles meets his roommate Chip Martin (aka the Colonel) for the first time.
Room 43 (dorm room) at Culver Creek Preparatory School in Birmingham, Alabama
Miles Halter
Chip Martin (the Colonel)
When Miles meets Chip, this is the starting point of their friendship that will continue to grow during their year at Culver Creek.
128 days before
After Miles and Chip meet, they go to Chip’s friends room to buy some cigarettes and that is where Miles meets Alaska for the first time and becomes infatuated with her.
Room 48 (5 doors down from Miles’ and Chip’s room) at Culver Creek in Birmingham Alabama
Miles Halter
Chip Martin (the Colonel)
Alaska Young
This is the beginning of Miles’ infatuation with Alaska and the beginning of their friendship that will also grow to be stronger over their year.
128 days before
After Alaska leaves to go find her friend Takumi, Chip and Miles go down to the edge of the lake at Culver Creek and Chip offers a cigarette to Miles. Miles had never smoked a cigarette but decides that he wants to and ends up choking and wheezing on the intoxicating smoke.
At the edge of the lake at Culver Creek.
Miles
Chip (the colonel)
This is the start of Miles maturing and becoming the person he wants to be. It also begins his journey towards the Great Perhaps.
127 days before
After Miles has his first cigarette with the Colonel, they both head down to the cafeteria where they meet up with Alaska and her friend Takumi. This is when Miles and Takumi first meet.
Cafeteria at Culver Creek
Miles
Chip (the Colonel)
Takumi
When Miles and Takumi meet in the cafeteria, it begins their friendship over the course of the school year. It also shows how quickly they bond together.
127 days before
As a prank, Miles gets duct taped and thrown into the nearby lake by Kevin and his friends. It was supposed to be a harmless joke/prank but by them duct taping Miles he was having a hard time get out of the lake and could have drowned. When Miles gets back to his dorm and Chip finds out about what happened, Chip gets furious and wants to go talk to them.
Room 43 (Miles’ dorm room) and outside at the lake on Culver Creek’s grounds
Miles
Kevin and his friends
Chip (the Colonel)
This prank brings Miles into the world of pranks at Culver Creek. It also presents the feud between Chip and Kevin and their prank battles. When Chip gets angry at the fact that they taped Miles before throwing him in the lake, it shows how Miles’ and Chip’s friendship has already gotten stronger because of how the Colonel got a bit defensive over Miles almost drowning.
101 days before
In class, Alaska invites Miles to come with her and a few of the students in their Pre Calculus class to come to McDonalds with them. On the ride there, Miles and Lara meet due to there not being enough seats in the small car and Lara having to sit on his lap for the ride there.
In Alaska’s car (Blue Citrus)
McDonald’s
Miles
Lara
Alaska
Kids from their Pre Calculus class
This is when Miles begins developing feelings for Lara. This also begins the start of their friendship.
89 days before
Miles gets invited to go on a triple and a half date with Alaska, her boyfriend Jake, the Colonel and his girlfriend Sara, Lara (as Miles’ date) and Takumi as the half.During this time Lara and Miles get a bit closer and all the friends start to bond more.
In the bleachers at Culver Creek (they watched the game)
Miles
Lara
Chip (the Colonel)
Sara (the Colonel’s girlfriend)
Alaska
Jake (Alaska’s boyfriend)
Takumi
The friends get to bond more over the duration of the date . Lara and Miles get to hang out more and become closer/ their feelings for each other grow.
2 days before
During Barn Night, the group of friends camp out under the stars and decide to play Best Day/ Worst Day. While playing, everyone learns new things about each other but most importantly, they learn a bit about Alaska’s past with her mom.
At the barn, around the campfire
Miles
Lara
Alaska
Chip
Takumi
This game helps to bring Alaska’s past into the light and helps further into the story for when she passes and they are looking for answers as to why it happened.
2 days before
After the friends play Best Day/ Worst Day, they all begin to settle down and this is where Miles and Lara start dating and become even closer to each other.
Around the campfire
Miles
Lara
Chip
Takumi
Alaska
Miles and Lara get together while in front of everyone including Alaska and her boyfriend Jake. Since Jake was there with Alaska it probably made Miles jealous and therefore made him act faster on making Lara his girlfriend then he would have if Jake and Alaska weren’t there.
the last day
The night after Barn Night, Miles, Chip and Alaska all meet up in Alaska’s dorm and play Truth or Dare as they drink until they are drunk. During the game, Alaska dares Miles to kiss her. This is where the two share their first and only kiss.
Room 48 (Alaska’s dorm room)
Alaska
Miles
Chip
When Alaska dares Miles to kiss her, I think this was her way of showing that she might have been jealous that Miles and Lara were together. It also shows that Alaska probably developed feelings for Miles while trying to set him up with Lara and just didn’t want to admit it.
the day after
At the assembly the next day, Chip and Miles beg for the Eagle not to start because Alaska wasn’t there yet. The Eagle explains to them that Alaska won’t be joining them and that she had passed last night. The two can’t believe what they are hearing as the Eagle asks them to clean out Alaska’s room of any things that are supposed to be there (alcohol, cigarettes) before Alaska’s Aunt shows up to clean the rest of her stuff.
The assembly
Chip
Miles
The Eagle
Them finding out about Alaska’s death and how it feels to grieve.
27 days after
Miles and Chip decide to steal the breathalyzer from the Eagle’s house so that they can test out whether Alaska got into the car accident due to her not being able to function properly because she was too drunk. After they got the breathalyzer, the Colonel drank a lot of alcohol in order to test how drunk she would have had to been to not be able to drive properly.
The front of the Eagle’s house and in Miles’ and the Colonel’s dorm room at Culver Creek.
Chip
Miles
The Eagle
This was a way for the two of them to let go and finally try to get the questions they had answered.
102 days after
Chip and Miles plan a huge prank in memory of Alaska and perform it in front of everyone at the assembly.
Culver Creek assembly room
Chip
Miles
I think the big prank was a way of them to let go a bit from grieving and finishes what Alaska didn’t get to.
136 days after
When Miles got home from his final Pre Calculus test, he walked into his dorm room only to find a letter on the floor by the door. He picked it up and realised it was from Takumi. Takumi had written the letter to explain how he heard and tried to talk to Alaska the night of her death before she got into the car and left. He also explained how he had left to go back to Japan early.
On the floor of Miles’ and Chip’s dorm room
Miles
It brings a new perspective to the night of Alaska’s death. It also gives so unanswered questions that Chip and Miles have about that night.
136 days after
After MIles finds Takumi’s letter, he sits down at his computer and decides to write his final for the “Old Man” (his religions teach, Mr. Hyde). As he was writing, he included Alaska’s theory of the labyrinth and how him finding the “Great Perhaps” would be soon after he found his way out of the labyrinth.
In Miles’ and Chip’s dorm room (room 43) at the computer.
Miles
Miles’ final essay explains how much Alaska has taught Miles during the time that they have known each other. It also brings Miles a bit of a break from his relief and helps him move on from the death of his crush, friend and life teacher.